Ultimately I know it is not my job to fix my daughter's problem, but to walk with her through it. To provide strength and guidance for the journey, not solutions or short cuts to bring the destination nearer. 

What does my husband say in the quiet moments to our son when miscommunication threatens to rob them of unity? How can I learn from the way he parents?

As a parent I am a model of behavior, a model of decorum, a model of thought and of presentation. I can easily forget how powerful that model is and yet my kids constantly remind me that, consciously or not, they are adopting and adapting what they see in me and making it their own all the time.

I have to think that if pain comes from my kids, there must be something for me in it. For each barb they send my way, there must be an opportunity to learn. I know at times when I have felt profound pain or deep sadness, something about the very depth of feeling itself is a hint at something beautiful.