Virtual Neglect: The Problem with Online Therapy
Talk therapy is a field inspired by curiosity about the human mind and the extraordinary impact of healthy relationships to remedy cognitive and emotional ills. Increasingly, this artful execution of communication and relationship skills to nurture health is being treated as a product to be bought and sold as a convenient tool for self-fulfillment. The proliferation of online therapy platforms is a troubling trend for a society already struggling to honor the humanity in each of us.
Embodied Experience Versus Isolation
Online therapy fails to execute on the most basic premise of strong mental health—that as human beings we are created for the richness, challenge, and reward of deep connection with others. Such depth is not fostered through a screen. Online therapy facilitates conversation, but the fullness of human connection is an embodied experience that requires physical presence.
We are physical beings; to neglect our physicality in treating our emotional pains will always leave us wanting. When shared space becomes optional, it’s easier to believe that health can be achieved along the periphery of our lives—between errands or during a 45 minute lunch break. But health doesn’t happen on the fringes; health requires that we learn to sacrifice, to say no, to evaluate and then prioritize things of true worth.
Online platforms and the convenience they prize give the illusion of connection without actually delivering, amplifying a sense of isolation that may be difficult to describe or honor.
Impact of Commercialization
Online therapy has turned counseling into a commodity to be bought and sold. Clients become customers, lured by promises of tailor-matched therapists and immediate access at any time. Such a model demands nothing of the client and presents the therapist as a provider of goods. “You deserve to be happy” is the prominent tagline on the homepage of a popular online therapy platform. The myth feeds our flesh and fosters a defeating self-focus.
Good therapy is not about making the client happy. Good therapy is about helping the client become healthy. Happiness promotes ease and comfort; health promotes what is right. Sometimes those things don’t align. A good therapist is one who understands the human experience can’t be reduced to smiling clients and positive reviews. Anger, pain, disappointment, humility, and grief are real human emotions that enrich and inform the human experience.
By promoting immediate gratification and convenience, online platforms make promises that feed base human instincts in lieu of pursuing the blessing of strength forged through long-suffering and perseverance.
Restoring True Connection
Ours is a society that has bought the lie that human connection can be reduced to an exchange of words, or even just sentiments (have you ever seen a message thread dominated by emojis?). We talk about “conversations” when what we really mean is a text exchange, sometimes over several hours as we navigate work, errands, chores, etc. We’ve allowed in-person conversation to slip away because we thought it was merely a means of sharing information. What we are finding is that it is a means for sharing life.
Therapists, of all people, ought to provide services that foster optimal health, not just services that get a client by. In a world quickly falling for the idea that bots are suitable stand-ins for real friends, therapists need to be the first ones challenging that narrative and modeling the value of face time.
At Firm Foundation Family Services, we believe healing happens best in the context of real human connection. Our in-person counseling sessions in Ashburn, VA provide a safe, welcoming space to process emotions, build resilience, and experience the transformative power of genuine relationship.
If you’re seeking a therapist in Loudoun County or the greater Northern Virginia area, we invite you to learn more about our individual counseling services in Ashburn, VA.
Because lasting healing isn’t found through convenience—it’s found through connection.
