Parenting with Purpose
It is not your job to live for or through your children, but it is certainly your job to live with them in purposeful interaction to shape and teach them for their benefit. If you didn’t start yesterday, start today. It’s never too late to begin parenting with purpose.
From Deep Within
There are always waters running deep in the depths of our children’s hearts and minds. There will be more outburts, more tears, more anger, more joy, seemingly out of nowhere. We can count on it. There will be times when my first thought is: Well that sure was random. But random, isolated—I’m really not so sure they’re as common as they may appear.
The Best Parenting Resource Available
As our kids get older it may be harder to elicit honest feedback from them. Ask them anyway. Older children may fear punishment or a scolding; they may doubt the sincerity of our inquiry, our commitment to listen, or that their words will have any impact. Prove them wrong. Giving our kids a voice at the table doesn’t mean they dictate; it means that they matter.
Talking Real World with Our Kids
The real world is all there is when it comes to walking out our days. Real is what we touch and feel, what we breathe and see and know. Real, for my kids, is going to school, learning that second grade requires a little more work and a little less play than first grade, and coming home for dinner and family time. That’s real. That’s what we walk out, and what we talk about.
Treasure Hunting
Each word that's spoken is cultivated over an expanse of time that is informed by our experiences, our preferences, our desires, our beliefs, our expectations and our values. It is the buried words that speak the most powerful stories.
Coming to Terms with Self-Care
I once saw self-care akin to self-indulgence, but now I see it as meeting my needs for the purpose of fulfilling my responsibilities. Rather than asking “What do I do for myself that I enjoy?” I ask “What will help me best meet the demands of my day?” This shift in perspective allows me to measure my own legitimate needs against my ability to address the legitimate needs in those I love.
The Myth of Not Enough Time
The truth is my time is never stolen from me. It cannot be. I am the only one with the power to spend it, and the way those hours and minutes are spent are a direct reflection of what matters to me.
What We Do With What We Bring
We all bring biases, expectations, and assumptions to our parenting. This is universal, for we are all shaped by infinite influences that consciously and unconsciously embed themselves in our way of being and moving in the world. That we come with baggage is not a problem, as we all have the ability to learn from and accommodate our biases. But our willingness to see and our courage to act will have profound implications.
Stronger Together
That’s the kind of symbiotic relationship I so enjoy in coaching: when client and coach can be students together, seeking better ways of being, of thinking, of parenting. We learn more when we learn together.
Peace in the Out of Control
There are real enemies in this world. There are real problems. They are never my children. My children and I are allies and we will find solutions together.