The Myth of Feeling Good

Guest post contributed by Chia-Hua Lu, in-house clinician at Firm Foundation Family Services

Here it goes again where you wake up to this awful feeling… in which “Meh” would probably best describe it. You search and search in your head… but can not find specific “trigger” or precedent events that make you feel this way. You just don’t feel good for no particular reason. In fact, those “meh” kind of days sometimes go away without reason, just like how they arrive without notice and uninvited. That makes it an important skill to know how to get through it without crashing.

“To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:”

-Ecclesiastes 3:1

We look forward to our weekends because we long for a day or two (make it a long weekend even!) that we can finally take a break from waking up early for school or for work. That window of time seems more precious, almost in direct contrast to the grinding weekday routines and insufferable yet compulsory Northern Virginia traffic. Some of us are anxiously anticipating summer because we are tired of the cold and dark days in the winter. On the other hand, in the midst of a muggy and sweltering summer day, we start missing the feeling of crisp autumn air, combined with the warm, spiced smell of seasonal candles, while holding a specialty drink and sitting comfortably under a soft blanket.

Though experiencing a wide range of emotions is universal for human beings, our society has shaped us to think our goal is to feel good 100% of the time, and if not, there must be something wrong with us… or with other people. What helps to deal with unpleasant feelings that naturally arise in life from time to time?

One of the most beloved poets of the 20th century, Robert Frost, addressed human sufferings in his 1914 poem, A Servant to Servants:

“It’s rest I want – there, I have said it out –

From cooking meals for hungry hired men

And washing dishes after them – from doing

Things over and over that just won’t stay done.

By good rights I ought not to have so much

Put on me, but there seems no other way.

Len says one steady pull more ought to do it.

He says the best way out is always through.

And I agree to that, or in so far

As that I can see no way out but through –”

If you are feeling fed up with everything and numb emotionally, you can work through those piles that you have been putting off with a therapist and rekindle the fire of hope and passion for life again. The goal in therapy may not always be looking for something wrong. It could be to help equip yourself on how to get through a bad day or a difficult season.

Oftentimes, bottled-up emotions and stress do “spill out” and harm your relationships or atmosphere of the home. However, they do not have to determine you or your family’s future. Restoration is possible.

King Solomon is traditionally believed to be the author of the famous book in the Bible, Ecclesiastes. He was the son of King David. King Solomon was the biblical ruler of ancient Israel and was renowned for his unparalleled wisdom, immense wealth, and the construction of the first temple in Jerusalem. His 40-year reign during the 10th century BCE is often celebrated as Israel's "Golden Age" of peace and prosperity.

King Solomon had experienced the golden age of peace and prosperity as well as the downfall caused by having a massive number of foreign wives while making spiritual compromises. It is believed that King Solomon wrote Ecclesiastes to reflect on his life in his old age, and there is great wisdom in this book.

“ What does the worker gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they can not fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and to do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.”

-Ecclesiastes 3:9-13

When you feel consumed by life, when you are tired of feeling stuck in the same cycle, we, at Firm Foundation Family Services, are here to hold the space for you and provide the hope and compassion that can make every morning new (Lamentations 3:42). Resilience and strength will be built because you choose to face your challenge and seek help–today.

FAQs

Why do I feel emotionally numb or disconnected for no reason?

Emotional numbness can develop gradually due to stress, burnout, unresolved emotions, grief, anxiety, depression, or simply carrying too much for too long. Sometimes there is no obvious trigger, but that doesn't mean your feelings are not valid. Counseling can help you explore what may be contributing to emotional disconnection and provide tools for moving forward.

Is it normal to have seasons where I don't feel happy?

Yes. Human emotions naturally fluctuate throughout different seasons of life. While our culture often emphasizes constant happiness, it is normal to experience sadness, frustration, discouragement, or emotional fatigue. Learning how to navigate these emotions in healthy ways can build resilience and emotional well-being.

How can therapy help when nothing seems "wrong"?

Many people seek counseling not because of a crisis, but because they feel stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, or uncertain about how to move forward. Therapy can provide support, perspective, coping strategies, and a safe space to process life's challenges before they become larger concerns.

Can Christian counseling help me through a difficult season?

Christian counseling can help you address emotional and relational challenges while integrating your faith into the healing process. For individuals who desire a faith-based approach, counseling can provide space to explore both emotional struggles and spiritual questions while drawing upon biblical principles and hope.

When should I consider seeking counseling?

You may benefit from counseling if you feel emotionally exhausted, stuck in unhealthy patterns, overwhelmed by stress, struggling in relationships, experiencing persistent sadness or anxiety, or simply wanting support during a difficult season of life. Seeking help is a proactive step toward growth and healing.

Does Firm Foundation Family Services offer Christian counseling in Ashburn, VA?

Yes. Firm Foundation Family Services provides Christian counseling services in Ashburn, Virginia, and serves individuals, couples, families, and children throughout Loudoun County and Northern Virginia. Our therapists offer compassionate, professional support while integrating faith for those who desire a Christian counseling approach.